Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
