Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.