I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Too much gin, very little bucket
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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