You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now