if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog