Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
