Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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