their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
