shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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