Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
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I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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