Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
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