Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
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I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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