do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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