I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
