2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
