Sponge bath it is.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
