Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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