1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's rum buckets o'clock
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
