Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
