I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
