I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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