I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
