Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
