I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
