i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
