yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize