HIV tests are more positive than that guy
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i will never coherently bang her
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
