I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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