I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
