In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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