I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ketchup is God's man juice
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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