well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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