im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize