I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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