I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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