Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize