Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think my nap took me to another dimension
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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