I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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