Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
