yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the gays at disneyland are vicious
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
