At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
this just has baby written all over it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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