I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
