ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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