We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize