anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i think i have two assholes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
