Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
