One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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