bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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