i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
