Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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