You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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