oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There are leaves in my underwear?
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