His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize