I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
