The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
