Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
