he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
