it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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