put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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