Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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